When you choose to go abroad for a long period of time the decision is not taken lightly. You can choose to live this experience as a way to take time for yourself, to figure out what to do afterwards or because you're really passionate about social work and the organisation you're joining. Either way, you expect quite a lot from this experience. It must be everything you dreamt of for it to be worth it, if not what is the point to press pause in your life and fly far away from home ?
Unfortunately, during those months, there will be times when the dream is not as enjoyable. In this article I wanted to share my own experience of ups and downs and how I dealt with it.
Above you can see the curve of cultural adjustment. This picture was shown to us before starting the project to explain how our mood could change during our time abroad. At first I honestly didn’t think much about it. I was just happy to start this new chapter of my life. But now, 5 months into the project, I wanted to share how this curve looks for me.
The honeymoon phase 
: The first few months of my project flew by pretty fast. Between mid October and the beginning of December I discovered the Scout Center and my colleagues. I explored Rustavi and Tbilisi. I went to Truso Valley, Rabati Castle and Zoti village. I planted trees, I had my first supra and learnt to make Khinkali. I helped during weekend camps. I started running and going to the pool. In short, everything was new and happening very fast.
First ups and downs : It was during the month of December that my mood started to shift a little. I was missing my loved ones from home after 2 months without seeing them and the political state of Georgia was impacting everyone from the team. We were anxious and worried for our Georgian friends and we all had different ideas about what our places as volunteers should be during this time. However, I can’t say that I felt culture shock. Even when noticing the difference between Georgian and French culture I was happy and grateful to be able to experience these differences. I could sometimes feel surprised or confused but mostly I was watching and experiencing it with curiosity.
During December my mood stayed globally quite high. Especially considering that I went back to France during Christmas and New year and I was able to see my friends and family.
When I went back to Georgia I started visiting again right away with the team of volunteers. Three weeks later my family came to visit me and I had a lot of fun showing them around and visiting the country with them. We enjoyed Georgian food and landscapes. During this period I was really happy about my experience and the opportunities it gave me and my family.
Motivation difficulties and questions : In February I started to feel more down. I was starting to wonder if I had made the right decision to stay for a year. I was really missing home and falling into habits in the project. The workshops we proposed to the people were less popular, maybe due to the weather and I felt a bit demotivated. We also started talking between the volunteers about our ending dates and how some of us were leaving before the others. In mid february I had a talk with Lia, our coordinator and I decided to end my project at the end of June instead of the end of August. Making this decision made it easier for me to start thinking about my return to France. At the end of June almost all the volunteers would be finishing their project and I couldn’t imagine myself staying afterwards. I didn’t want to spend the last two months just waiting to get home and not benefiting from the experience anymore.
I felt better after this decision, but the questions about my reasons for coming stayed. I was thinking about what I was missing in France. The times with my family that I couldn’t join, the times with my friends that I was missing. The times with my boyfriend that I couldn’t enjoy. I was asking myself if coming here was worth growing apart from my loved ones and postponing my debut as a psychologist. These questions were really difficult to handle, especially during the days when I was bored, that I didn’t find motivation in the Job or that I was particularly missing home.
What is helping? I mentioned earlier that I am a trained psychologist. Well sometimes it is useful to take some of my own advice. The first thing that helps when I find myself spiraling in my thoughts or feelings is to remember the reasons for my decision to come here. I want to discover a country, its culture and get out of my comfort zone.
Then I remember that having difficult feelings and doubts is normal and a part of life. I would have faced difficulties if I stayed in France also, but at least I am doing something new and going through with a once in a lifetime opportunity despite the hard feelings.
I am accepting my doubts and my thoughts about what could have been in France but I don’t give them the space to take over my experience in Georgia. When I am faced with those thoughts I am reconnecting to the place I am right now and to the things I want to do while I am still there. Because this project will end and I want to look back at it and have made the most of it.
Conclusion :
Now we are in the beginning of march. Sometimes I get sad because I know I won’t see my family until July and my boyfriend until May and it seems so far away. But then I remember that it means that I have 3 more months to enjoy the beautiful landscape of Georgia, the time with the awesome team of volunteers and to find projects that I enjoy and that I want to bring to life before going away. It’s also three months of personal time to prepare the best I can for my return to “real” life. I am trying to be fully present when I am walking around, talking to others and enjoying the little moments of life. This week the sun made a comeback in Rustavi and the weather was really nice. I spent a beautiful afternoon in the park among friends and a fun evening dancing in a bar.
Sometimes I am sad, frustrated and full of doubts. But at the same time I am so happy to experience it all and to discover myself in an all new light.
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